a tapestry

psychedelic membranes, caressing convolutions of consciousness

born into being; reaction catalyzed

creation and paradise denied; the abject and absolute horror

a breath of life; of whispering winds and tempests of suffering

the thread that binds all life

a tapestry of torment traveling through time

experience the steady spiral; of grains of sand

glimpse into the abyss, a daring leap; storm the sanctuary, destroy the keep

a dissonant and scornful song, a dance of seething rage

to bring discordance into harmony, and turn rhythm into chaos

to disrupt the function; and fracture the form

all time should end, all identity will rupture

polymorphic, unique; a decadent corruption

a self-destructive direction; the destination an immanent eruption

of feeling and fury; a tremble turned into a torrent

of desire and power realized and armed

to feel the singleness, the uniqueness

a flow, a wave, a ripple; an experience so divine and sublime

its mine

and when it ends; so do I

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unwind

oh restless hubris filled dreamers

watch your step here and there; tread softly over the shattered glass and burnt offerings

black and acrid soot coats the soles of your dry and cracked feet

take no heed to the steady clicks, of the vapors wafting from the silhouettes on the ground

zeroed out, incinerated; dust and ash blowing carelessly in the wind

a dream gone wrong, for far too long you have been sipping on fine hubris filled wine

only to watch it all unwind

weep

the earth wept, thus all the streams and rivers pushed against their banks, toppling them and flooding the lowlands entirely

the seas rose and reclaimed the land, pounding the emaciated coasts with massive waves without cessation

torrential downpours crisscrossed the surface, bringing sudden deluges, triggering massive landslides that left nothing in their wake

the earth wept, for this was only the beginning

tides

A sleek and opulent crown; upon their new masters head, was placed precariously by the ordained and sacred people.

“The tides shall change now”; was the accursed phrase whispered, sung, and shouted from everyone’s lips and throats; and they danced in glee and cried tears of joy in the streets at their “new state of affairs”.

The tide did indeed change, it shifted and crushed the people completely, leaving them ragged and weary.

They wept and cried out to anything that would listen: “Who will save us from such a cruel and unforgiving master? Reveal yourself, and we shall throw ourselves down at your feet! We will serve you, we only ask that you save us!”

Thus they were doomed.

violent dance

silent watcher, seen from the palace of crystal and ivory, wonder not at the tempest that develops below, fire! fire! fire!

distilled anger erupts, converging in fits and outbursts; demolition; eruption; annihilation

sustained chaos, whose in control? weeping, screaming, clawing! acrimonious, hateful lust; caught in the maelstrom

rotten pestilence, slow creeping rot, festering abhorrent wound, metastasizing; no escape, no hope, no exit

vital fluid, spilled, a stain upon the dirt, bloodletting, offering of flesh and bone; bodies torn, pillaged, plundered, why! why! why!

discordant harmony brought into climax, triumphant domination, celebration of submission; odious love

hands off! look not! questions deflected and reflected; curtains closed, gates locked; cloud of tears, chains clink and clunk; wrapped around the neck and limbs; horrific sights, sounds, and thoughts

contortion brings upon tension, forms become strange, derealized, depersonalized, profitable prophets, sing caustic praise

slow, methodical methods of diversion; overflowing outlets, cascading in torrents; rushing! raging! rising!

spinning, careening, twisting, contorted forms and shapes, blurred lines, unfocused projection, pale darkness, foreboding silence

quiet sad peace, restless and endless pacing; searching; momentary pathway, overgrown and unnoticed

calm acceptance, non-restraint; power realized, my beautiful violent dance

corpse

a great trunk lays

reduced to pieces

cut, sliced, destroyed

it screamed

yet no one heard it’s pleas

under the incessant vibrations; the mechanical

it’s leaves swayed and it’s branches heaved

a thing of beauty

reduced to nothing in a mere moment

had done no crime but existed

No right; No freedom; Only power

I

I know nothing of freedom and right, can only experience and encounter the flow and pulse of power through my body and my world. To covet both right and freedom in the presently encountered political context, is to covet an empty and hollow idea, an unreachable and unattainable goal.

Millions of bloated, festering, and rotting corpses fertilize the fetid and putrid fields of “right and freedom”. Across the Earth’s surface a writhing mass of billions more clamor, rally, and fight for more or less rights and freedoms, to be free from this thing or that thing, or to have the right to some unsanctioned activity.

The slave beggar with outstretched hands, prostrate before the cruel and vicious master, weeping for their freedom gets very little, and across the world, the people—whomever they are—get very little, and only in little dribs and drabs. They get only what the master, the lord, the boss is willing to bestow upon them. Only through their resignation, submission, and acquiescence to this authority, may they keep what little table scraps are thrown their way, and what is given, can quickly be taken away if they do not obey according to the will and dictates of their abundant masters.

How can such “right and freedom” be our own? If we only have these allowances at the behest of others power, how could we ever truly call them our own? One would have to be a complete fool to think that we are “free” because some political authority says we are. The rights allowed to me are only a miniscule sliver of what I am capable of—am I to accept this arrangement? To do so would to limit myself, to bind myself to another, to refuse my own power, and to allow myself to be controlled.

To those who refuse resignation, submission, and obedience to any external or higher power—be it any idea, object, or individual—such rights and freedom are nothing but words on paper, a lofty and useless delusion.

Our own right and freedom is something else entirely.

II

My own freedom or right is not defined or created by any external source, but is instead determined by my own power. I am free to all that is within my power, have the right to all the I have the ability to undertake. I need not wait for the pastors blessing, the politicians law, the judge’s ruling, the bosses order, the owner’s permission for what I have in my power to do. Power understood as such concerns itself not with what you are allowed to do, but with what you are willing and able to do.

I have the power to dance; to sing; to write; to fight; to kill; to plant gardens; to grow trees; to do drugs; to love; to hate; to cry; to laugh; to steal; to resist; to subvert; to hide; to be seen; to consume; to produce; to suffer; to destroy; to create. My choice of action or activity is my own, determined by my momentary power and desire.

This is not to say that I ignore all consequence of my actions and activity or that I actually desire to do everything I just listed. I know very well that many actions and activities are looked down upon and unsanctioned by the powers that be. The truth of the matter is that I am perfectly free to do any of these supposedly unsanctioned things—as long as I have the power to accomplish them and most importantly—get away with them. Of course at times we cannot escape punishment or consequence for our action or activity, and act knowing fully well that we will have some force or power projected upon us for our action.

My power is my inalienable property, as long as I breathe and live, I will always have power in my world, when I cease to be, my power ceases to be. My power changes as I explore and experience my life, and is not a steady and unchanging power, but an ever morphing and shifting flow that changes situationally, contextually, and momentarily as I live my life.

If I am to navigate this complex, chaotic, and dynamic torrent, then I must dive into the raging waters—experience its power. I will swim both with and against its currents.

III

To understand my own power is to make a study of it in my world—to understand the power of the things that I encounter and experience. How does power react, shift, and change to our own probing and interactions? I know from direct observation and experience that power is present everywhere in my world. Everywhere one looks influence and control are present and acting upon us.

From the food I eat, the people I encounter, the objects I encounter and possess, to the things I read—anything in my world can be observed and studied; analyzed and questioned as a thing of power. Power comes in many shapes and forms; qualities and quantities; capabilities and capacities.

My power is not unlimited, I know very well that I have limits to what I can undertake and accomplish. I could never obtain an “unlimited or pure” freedom to do anything I want because I find myself in a world where limits on my power are everywhere. Sometimes I am strong enough to overcome some of these limits, at other times I find that their power is far too great. Navigating the web or terrain of power that I encounter, is an everyday feat, and what is easily done in one moment, may quickly become impossible in the next.

I can temporarily or situationally associate with other individuals to enhance my power. Such momentary conglomerations of power can be useful to us to obtain the things that we desire, or as a simple vehicle for our amusement and pleasure. We are only limited by our power and ability to find willing partners.

Power is not my end, but merely a means to create myself and fulfill my momentary and situational desires. I do not desire the endless accumulation of power. Throughout my world I find accumulations of power, see and observe them in my terrain. Some have the power to control millions of individuals, others have the capacity to influence and control others through words and media, some objects are incredibly powerful or influential, some symbols or ideas can compel complete and fanatical devotion. To counteract and subvert attempts to influence and control us, we must be able to recognize the myriad forms that such attempts come in.

Our own power is sometimes turned against us, used by others to control us and influence us. One only needs to think of the innumerable moments of our lives that we have lost to the machinations and pressures of the expected social relationships and interactions we frequently encounter. Or we could consider the countless hours that we have spent working for another, having our power and bodies used for someone else’s ends. We can and will be used to fortify and help maintain the dominant power relationships of our worlds.

We are not outside the web of power, but deeply embedded within it.

At some juncture it is impossible to escape the influence of some of the things that we encounter in our worlds. As power is unavoidable, it is therefore impossible to escape the influence of it. Some power relationships that exist in our worlds are so dominant that escape from them seems utterly impossible, but this does not mean that we are powerless to attack them, or should not actively try if we desire too.

There are always paths and possibilities of creation and destruction available to us, as long as we are playful and willful enough to consider and use them.

IV

If we dispel the ghosts of the granted and bestowed “right and freedom”, we see our world quickly open up with a multitude of possibilities and pathways for us to explore and play in. I find myself to possess a wide range of ability and power, of which I have the capacity and will to use.

I can only look at all of the worlds moral, ethical, and legal codes as constraints that I am under no obligation to submit to or follow. These “rights” are tools of control, used to maintain and reproduce the various systems and relationships of power that have dominance and control in my world. I have the power to resist and subvert them if I so desire. I will not allow another to dictate what I am free to do, or have the right to do; I toss both away and realize my own power to be free or to act in my world.

I seek to understand the momentary webs and nodes of power relations that I find myself a part of. Through encounters and experiences with power, I may discover previously unseen ways of creating myself and acting upon my world with my own power.

Submerged in the tempest, but guarded against and aware of the many illusions offered up to me, the paths I may follow multiply and contract—each moment and situation a cascade of playful possibilities.

There is no right or freedom; only power.

Terrain and Environment: Questions

1

What is the terrain and environment that you stand upon? How much do you know about your surroundings, the places you frequent, visit, and live in? How effectively and quickly can you navigate and traverse your terrain? Simply: How much do you know about your personal environment?

2

Knowledge of terrain is obtained through through various methods: Research, observation, and direct experience navigating a terrain are a good start. Knowledge of your terrain comes from exploration, observation, and play with your environment.

Your terrain is your playground; this is where the games are played.

Sometimes our terrain is familiar and safe, other times our environments are unknown to us, filled with new encounters and experiences.

3

Our environments can be understood in a historic, present, and future perspective. One can study and construct how something in our environments came to be as presently experienced or encountered. We may also consider lines, paths, and possibilities of the future.

These theoretical, constructed, and imagined futures and histories, can be playfully considered for possibilities in your present, transitory, and momentary experiences with your terrain.

4

Who are all the players in the things you observe, encounter, and experience? What is the ebb and flow; the rhythm and pulse of individuals and their things? How are things distributed and transported; changed and shaped? How do things interact and relate to one another? How are these things valued, qualified, and quantified?

5

Consider all the possible paths and lines that extend from you. What directions may you move in? What are some needs, obstacles, and waypoints for effective movement, action, and activity? Where do you meet resistance, where are you unencumbered? What are your paths of attack, defense, retreat, and defeat?

6

Where are the steep cliffs, quiet ponds, deep ravines, rolling hills, steep mountain passes, rippling streams, raging waves, thickets, marshes, swamps, forests, and grasslands? Where are the high and low places? Where are the little places, the hidden locales, the quiet streets, the sparsely traversed paths, the busy and vital corridors, the well traveled and frequented? Where are the cities and the suburbs; the farms and industrial districts?

7

Where can you find something to eat? Where can you find something to drink? What resources are in plain sight? What things are kept under lock and key? What can be stockpiled and cached? What can be crafted and built? How can you mend and care for your body? How can you heal and care for yours and others wounds, injuries, and illnesses? Where are you secure and sheltered?

8

How is power embedded and concentrated throughout your environment? What sort of force can be projected and who does the projecting? What sort of force can you project across your terrain? What is your capability and power?

Where are your friends? Where are your foes? Who can be relied on and trusted? What can you accomplish; what activities may you undertake? What is beyond your power?

What can you get away with?

A Visit

A demon came to me, perched behind my chair.

It whispered inhuman words to me, assumed a dreadful and inarticulate shape.

I laughed at it, and muttered my own inhuman words in response, assumed my own dreadful and inarticulate shape.

I did not seek to overcome it or topple it; run from it or fear it; but instead became well acquainted with it—my dear duzbrüder.

The Union of Egoists

Note: I use association and union interchangeably. I refer from my reading of the Wolfi Landstreicher translation “The Unique and Its Property”. 

I

The phrase union or association of egoists is found only a few times in Max Stirner’s “The Unique and Its Property”, and yet it is often referred to as Stirner’s alternative to the relationships of state and citizen; lord and servant; master and slave. Stirner did not provide us with a blueprint for the future, nor a new system, to replace the socioeconomic and belief/thought systems he critiqued and attacked. I believe that this omission was intentional — Stirner was not about to annihilate all fixed ideas, authority, and sacred beliefs only to recreate a new fixed idea.

The union is something more mundane, if not commonplace, yet an incredibly powerful tool for all individuals. The association is a phenomena that we all experience and create throughout our lives.

The union is often referred to as some crystallized structure or organization. This is at complete odds with Stirner’s actual writings on union, association, and relations between individuals in “The Unique and Its Property”. Stirner does not discuss the union as some static relation between two or more individuals, but instead as shared life activity of two or more self-interested individuals. The association is one of both immanence and transience, it is felt, lived, and experienced in-the-moment. When me and a good friend part ways after a night of both enjoyable and pleasurable fare, our union has come to an end; when our rebellious plot has been successfully hatched and we split up to lay low, our association has ceased to be.

The enjoyable thoughts remain, the love I feel for my lover after parting from them, the excitement and restlessness at the thought of our next union — but the association itself has come to a timely end, only the idea or thought of the union exists and an idea or thought is not what I am relating with. Instead I relate to you as I, and you relate to me as you, in the flesh, as corporeal, and sensuous individuals. We accept no representations in such a relation, no symbolic determinations or flesh-and-blood masters as mediators of this relationship. In our union with one another, we are ourselves and we bring ourselves with all of our property.

Our union is a thing of self-interest, self-enjoyment, and self-fulfillment.

We come together for a common and shared aim, not because we are bound by duty, honor, morality or any other cause, but because we both find some mutual utility in such a union. Our shared activity could be anything: Gardening, hiking, botany, insurrection, photography, writing, art, cooking, sex, farming, fishing, hunting, robbing a bank, playing a game, etc. The only thing that matters is that you and I are both getting our own fulfillment or satisfaction from our association with one another.

Our relationship is one of mutuality and reciprocity. We both gain what we desire from our union, and thus are satisfied. We consume, but are also consumed. We are used by the union, while also using the union. The union is our tool, our power, it is created for our own needs, desires, and purposes—for our own selfish ends. The union of egoists is a union of self-interest, a union of power.

When we no longer find such an association as beneficial to ourselves we withdraw and end the union. The union only exists at the behest of our own individual power. If we find that we are working towards another’s ends, no longer enjoying oneself, or desiring a new activity—we withdraw—ending our association.

Throughout our lives we enter and exit many relationships with individuals that are intentional, enjoyable, based on reciprocity, and mutuality. You do this without thinking about it, hanging out with your friends because they bring you happiness, having sex because it is pleasurable for all participants, cooking a meal for guests because it brings you joy at feeding your friends, resisting political authorities because you refuse their orders and commands, every day you come into and out of relationships of shared selfish activities with others.

II

We also engage in many relationships not based on intentionality, mutuality, or reciprocity. Such relationships are ubiquitous in our lives, we are forced through various means to associate with those that we do not care for, engage in activities that are not our own, and take part in relationships where we do not get our own satisfaction and fulfillment. We repress our desires, our wants, and needs, and sacrifice them to hollow and empty ideas that are backed with heavy handed violence, intimidation, guilt, and shame.

The society is to have power over the individual, while the individual is to have power over the union. The individual is a tool of the society, the union is a tool of the individual. The societies claim over the individual is absolute, the individual may not end this claim, an association is transient, ends when the individual wills it. The society is a relationship of master and slave, the union is a relationship of individuality, reciprocity, and mutuality. The society is imposed upon you, an association is an intentional act of your own power.

Why should we feed the rotten and stagnant “gardens” of society, when we could instead water the sweet ephemeral blooms of our own unions? We should be with those actual living, breathing individuals that bring us satisfaction and enjoyment, engaging in activities that all bring us self-fulfillment. Instead, we trudge endlessly in boring and unfulfilling activities, working for the accumulation of others power and wealth for most of our lives, forced to associate with people we have zero interest in and have no mutuality or affinity for.

Do you ever ask yourself: Am I really enjoying what I am doing at this present moment? This is not to say that acknowledgment of our unenjoyment in some sort of present condition or activity will free us from its constraints and power. We must exercise our own power to free ourselves from those individuals, relationships, and activities that fill our lives with the boring, mundane, and unimaginative.

Who should enjoy you but yourself? A strange question to some perhaps, but a question that needs asking. Only you feel and experience yourself and your life, why should your life be for any other than you? Only I can feel the ache of my muscles and bones after a grueling 12 hour shift. Only you can feel the stress and anxiety that builds when you don’t have enough money to make rent. We should not be passively submitting to those who maintain, reproduce, and build the systems of domination and exploitation we experience, but should instead actively resist and strike back.

What exactly you experience in your daily life is most certainly different then what I experience, but of course we may find commonality, mutuality, and affinity in our personal experiences with our worlds. Our mutual domination and exploitation can merely be the spark for our shared fires of resistance.

III

Our worlds change and flux before us, and we can follow our desires, needs, and passions, as our worlds and lives unfold before us, entering into unions and associations as individuals come into and out of our power. By seeking out those who have some commonality and affinity with us, we may gain much, and by enjoying ourselves in a mutual and reciprocal way, we share ourselves and our desires with those we choose to be with. Our activities are limited only by our imaginations, power, and finding willing partners.

Our unions are like a flowing river, they are in constant change, coming together and coming apart, growing, contracting and expanding, sometimes a vigorous, passionate, and raging river, other times only a small, quiet, and gentle spring. We are much like our unions, are also in constant motion, in a state of stochastic and chaotic change, ebbing and flowing throughout our lives.

We need not play along with the dull and uninteresting, the expected, and submissive roles and behaviors that are desired of us by our rulers, masters, and lords. Our own lives are far too enjoyable for us to allow such a thing. We have no need to hold ourselves to any of the codes, laws, and morals of those who claim power over us. We need only to live our lives, and create ourselves in every moment as we see fit and as our individual power allows.